Growing Stale
by sarah.write.now
Summary: Why, why am I not good enough?" He asked passionately. "Because... this relationship.. it's stale." I said quietly. Naitlyn


**AN: Heyyyzzz. New oneshot, maybe full story... who knows? Depends on how many reviews I get. So... REVIEW!**

**_Growing Stale_**

** _a oneshot by MeSsWiThMe34_**

I sat still; as if I was carved from ice. Just as cold, too. He was staring at me, looking straight into my eyes, almost lovingly. I stared back, playing the game I always played. We used to look into each other's eyes, knowing the other was thinking those three words. But now, he probably thought I was still thinking them, but I wasn't. I was thinking, _when will this end?_

"So, are you coming to my concert?" He asked clearing his throat; he was always the one who broke the silence first... always out of sheer uncomfortableness.

"Um, I don't know..." I said. He knew I wouldn't go... I almost never did these days. I used to come to _every _concert. Then one day, it stopped. I got bored. How many times can someone hear someone else sing _When You Look Me In The Eyes_.... while looking directly into your eyes?

238 times, to be exact.

Then the 239th time rolled around, and I threw a _fit._

_"You're coming to my concert tonight?"_

_"No! No, no, no, no! I'm sick of your stupid concerts." I screamed. _

_"My... my stupid concerts?" He stutted, genuine hurt shining in his eyes._

_"Yes! Yes, your stupid concerts! I'm tired of standing on the side of the stage, watching someone else live out my dream, while I have to go from label to label, getting turned down because I'm already known as "Teen Dream's Girlfriend" and I'll never be able to be anything more!" I yelled, realized that tears were coming._

_"Well... well then fine," He muttered, shutting the door behind him as he left my house. (It was one of the rare moments when he wasn't on tour, he was just doing a benefit concert... obviously it was only a mile away from my home.)_

_And he obviously forgave me_, I thought, as I sat in front of him in a Burger King. He was wearing a pair of Ray Bans sunglasses and a fedora hat, and I was wearing some sunglasses I picked up at a gas station the first time we decided to go out in public, with a beanie hat.

"Well, are you ever going to come to one of my concerts? Ever again?" He asked coldly. I shuddered. I felt genuinely bad. I was so bored with the relationship... he wasn't getting what he deserved.

I had to think about it...

"I have to think about it." I said cautiously.

"You have to..." He stared deep into my eyes, and I searched my heart for that spark I felt every time he looked into my eyes... well, back when I was in love, anyway. "You have to _think about it._" He repeated.

"Yes," I said calmly.

"What the hell, Caitlyn?" He burst out. He was Nate Grey, and he never "burst out". He also never yelled, he never contradicted, he never shouted, he never spoke higher than a whisper, he never let you see his anger.

But I brought out the worst in him, I guess.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice to a minimum. Because I was Caitlyn Gellar, and I always yelled, I always contradicted, I always shouted, and I never whispered.

"What is wrong with you? Why... why am I not good enough anymore? Why don't you _try _anymore? Why do I feel the spark whenever you touch me, but it doesn't seem to affect you in the least? Why, Caitlyn, are you still in this relationship, and why can't I let you go?" He said passionately, and I almost felt that familiar spark, as his passion filled his eyes, as his hand reached for mine... But I was smart enough to realize it wouldn't last. He was Nate Grey, and he was wonderful, but too wonderful for _me._

"You've always been good enough, that'll never change. It's... you're too good. I don't _try _anymore because I'll never be as good as you. I don't feel the spark, because my jealousy towards you, and my hatred for your success overshadows my love for you, as sad as that is. And I'm still in this relationship because I'm... I'm afraid of the outcome of breaking up. I'm afraid as soon as I do break up with you, I'll fall in love with you again, and you'll have moved on. And you can't let me go because you seem to think... you seem to not understand how... how _stale _our relationship has grown." I said, my voice almost matching his in passion. He didn't notice, and I didn't notice, that the entire Burger King was staring at us hungrily, hanging on our every word, wondering what was going on between us. (Even if they didn't know that he was rockstar Nate Grey, we were still fascinating.)

"I- I think we should... we should let go of this... whatever this is, and I think I should try to... to forget you." Nate mumbled. "It's unhealthy, the things you do. Caity," I cringed at the nickname. "Caity, you're brilliant, and you're sparkly and bright. But I think, I think I've ruined you. You aren't sparkly and bright anymore, and I'm afraid I caused it."

"Oh," I whispered. _(I don't whisper, I don't whisper, I don't whisper.) _

"Well... well goodbye." He said quietly. He leaned close to my ear. "I love- I mean, I'll miss you."

"I love you too. " I whispered, not allowing my fingers to graze my cheek, which was stained in tears. He left the Burger King, and I was quick to run out, ignoring the curious stares of the people eating.

That was two years ago, in Burger King. I haven't spoken to Nate since. But I heard from Mitchie that he married a girl named Alex... she was Mitchie's other best friend, the one that she knew before she came to camp. Mitchie married Shane. They had a double-wedding, that I skipped because I was afraid.

Afraid that when I saw him kiss the other girl... woman, now, that I would die of heartbreak.

Because I was right, I was right about everything. As stale as the relationship was, as soon as we separated, I felt a pang in my heart, that progressed into a crack, that progressed into a giant opening that would never, _never _be filled. And I don't go a day without regretting that one day, when I told him that I wasn't going to his concert.

And then one day, I was hanging out with Mitchie. (It was getting harder and harder, because she lived with Shane, and Shane was Nate's brother... you see the connection.)

So, we were sitting on the couch. She was complaining about how Shane always left the toothpaste open, and I was complaining about my forever-lasting singleness.

"So, then he was all, 'you wanna hang sometime?' and I was like, 'NO'!" I explained to her, as she flicked through the channels and stopped on _Sonny With a Chance. _

"Gosh I love Demi, she's like... so pretty." She mumbled to herself. Then she turned to me. "What were you saying?"

"I was talking about the guy that asked me out...?" I said, trying to jog her memory.

"Ohmygod you love him!" She shrieked.

"What, I don't love him! I turned him down!" I said, rolling my eyes. She obviously hadn't been paying attention.

"No, you love Nate!" She said slowly.

"I don't." I said stubbornly. "And how did you get that out of my little story?"

"Because... I just... it just hit me!" Mitchie said. As she said this, Nate and Shane ran into the room.

"Oh snap," Mitchie muttered. "They're drunk."

I glanced at them, half-heartedly trying to hid my identity. But they knew. _He knew._ He always knew.

"Caity?" Nate slurred. I shuddered at the nickname, remembering the last time he called me that. Mitchie sensed this.

"Maybe you should go..." She said, pulling Nate towards the door.

"No! Why should Nate leave?" Shane shouted.

"Shane," She warned. I stood up, inching towards the door.

"No, no wait." Nate pulled me away. I glanced at Mitchie but she was having an angry staring contest with Shane.

"No.." I said putting my hand on the doorknob. He pulled me towards him, and I felt the spark again, and he pressed me to his chest, and he leaned forward, and he kissed me, and I kissed back, and it was fiercely enjoyable, and it was tearing my heart up.

"No." I whispered. _(I don't whisper, I don't whisper, I don't whisper.)_

"I missed you Caity," He mumbled, kissing my ear while he whispered.

"You... you're married?" I said, saying it like a question.

"Yes." He said bluntly. That stung.

"And... and that means...?"

"And that means that... I don't know... but I know I missed you." He slurred.

"Nate, no." I pressed my lips to his one last time. "Goodbye." I closed the door behind me quietly.

The next morning I had six voicemails, all from an unknown number. I was so afraid that it was Nate, I didn't listen to them.

Three years later, he and Alex had a child, I read it in the newspaper.

Nate and Alex Grey, married for four years, have had their first child, a beautiful baby girl. _(It's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl.) _They named her Caitlyn Marie Grey. _(Oh no, oh no, oh no.)_

I put down the newspaper. He named his child after me. He named his child after me. He named his child after me.

"HE NAMED HIS FREAKIN' CHILD AFTER ME?" I shouted to myself.

And then the moment came when I remembered the six messages on my phone that I still hadn't listened to. I timidly picked up my phone. I hadn't changed my phone because I was afraid that I'd regret not listening to the messages. I had prayed the night I washed the phone in my washing machine... I had prayed that it wouldn't be broken, at that nothing would be erased.

Because I knew, one day, I would listen to those voicemails.

The two year old voicemails that I hadn't erased.

I typed in my password and shakily held the phone up to my ear.

_"Caity, it's Nate. I miss you... you just slammed the door in my face, and I miss you, and I wish you hadn't slammed the door in my face." _That was his first message.

_"Caity, it's been five minutes, and you still haven't called me back. Did you get my voicemail? Maybe i clicked the wrong button.." _That was his second message.

_"Caity, it's been two hours, and it's midnight, and I'm walking home to Alex, and I just realized that I cheated on her, and I don't know how to tell her... but I know how much I enjoyed it, and how wrong that is, and..." _That was his third one, and it stopped mid-sentence so he must have clicked the wrong button. The next three he had obviously called me in the morning to say, because he sounded sober, at least.

_"Caitlyn, we need to talk." _That was his fourth one.

_"Caitlyn, it's Nate, didn't you get any of my voicemails? Please stop ignoring me. I haven't told Alex. Please... just call me..." _That voicemail ende with a mind-numbing sob, and my heart almost broke in half.

_"Caitlyn Gellar, call me back or so help me God. I haven't told Alex, but if you would just call me back, we could discuss this like mature adults. Please, please just call me. I think maybe, maybe, if you would agree to it, I could leave... I could leave Alex. And we could marry, and start a family and... dammit Caitlyn, if you don't call me back-"_ And then my voicemails ended, and I heard the annoying sound of the recorded voice that told me I had no more messages.

And I had officially, fallen head over heels in love with Nate Grey. Well, I always had been, but now I knew.

And yet, I could never fix it.

Because Caitlyn Marie Grey needed her mommy and daddy to stay happy together.

And if she had a step-mommy...well, let's just say her step-mommy would grow tired of her daddy because their marriage would grow stale, and he'd eventually end up with Alex again.

So why... why try, right?

Everything would grow stale in the end.

**AN: Okay, review please. My longest oneshot, I think... anyway... REVIEW PLEASE!**


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